O.P.M. HOCKEY CLUB
2nd XI Match Reports
Season 2004/2005
11/09/2004 (A) vs USHC Plymouth A, Friendly
by Paul Mingo
Despite Alasdair's best efforts OPM's could only field six and a half players ( the half player was Rob Cross who could only play untill the second half, as he was on a lunch break at work). Luckily US allowed two of thier players to join us to even up the sides. OPM's scored first of a short corner, Pete recieved the ball and passed it to a OPM/US player who scored. US then turned up the pressure and soon evened the score, but unfortunately US kept up the pressure on OPM's defense and three more goals were conceeded before the end of the first half.
The second half started in heavy rain and once again US caused problems for OPM's defense and eventually another goal was conceeded. OPM's managed to get one back in the middle of the second when a OPM/US player struck the ball hard across the 'D' towards Gareth who smashed the ball into the back board of the goal. The match finished 6-2 to US. Score: USHC Plymouth A 6-2 OPM A
OPM Scorers: Gareth Logan, 1 loan player
Team: Paul Mingo, Alasdair Rose, Damien Hughes, Pete Honey, Gareth Logan, Luke Paterson, Rob Cross.
MoM: Paul Mingo.
25/09/2004 (A) vs North Devon A, Friendly
by Rob Logan
Op`s started brightly playing some good hockey early on, however they fell behind against the run of play. O.P`S equalised with a classic counter attack which saw them sweep up the pitch in two or three passes with Rich finishing off in fine style.The defence of Logan snr, Hughes and Ings (returning to the club after a couple of seasons away) were kept busy and were grateful for the presence of Chalmers in goal who made several crucial saves.Just before half time North Devon restored the lead following some hesitation from Logan snr who should have cleared instead of losing the ball and leaving Chalmers exposed.
The second half saw the game flow from end to end with op`s again scoring with a move that copied the first half goal scoring move, Rich again finishing. With Ings and Logan Snr tiring the team took a slightly different shape with Rob Cross replacing Logan and Pete Honey dropping back to leave Logan jnr and Patterson up front supported by Saunders, Frude and Rose from midfield. North Devon scored three more towards the end of the second half with Ings finally leaving the fray to be replaced by Bishop. The second half also had a couple of lighter momments one being Rich Davies`s piggy back on the North Devon centre half and the substitution of number 10 Ings with Rose, both of whom thought Logan Snr had said I have had 10 and I need to come off as I am K*$%&*&%D only for the evergreen Ings to leave the field much to the amazement of the breathless Logan. Score: OPM A 2-5 North Devon A
OPM Scorers: Richard Davies (2)
Team: Tim Chalmers, Iain Ings, Rob Logan, Damien Hughes, Alasdair Rose, Chris Frude, Pete Honey, Richard Davies, Gareth Logan, Rob Saunders, Luke Patterson, Rob Cross, Colin Bishop
MoM: Richard Davies.
02/10/2004 (H) vs Ashmoor A, South Western District 2
No report submitted
Score: OPM A 4-2 Ashmoor A
OPM Scorers: Richard Davies (2), Russell Owen-Moody, Ian Loze
Team: Paul Mingo, Arthur Norfolk, Chris Frude, Ian Loze, Ali Rose, Richard Davies, Russell Owen-Moody, Pete Honey, Luke Patterson, Rob Cross, Gareth Logan
09/10/2004 (H) vs Tavistock A, South Western District 2
by Rob Logan
Opm`s started brightly and went ahead from a Duncan Rutherford short corner strike, the pace of the strike beating the keeper easily. OP`s kept up the pressure with Gareth Logan running at the defence before passing to Russell Owen-moody to score the second, the first half was played out with opm`s keeping up the pressure, Paul Mingo a virtual spectator in the OPM goal.
Second half started with Owen-moody grabbing his second with a spectacular strike from the edge of the circle. Despite having the majority of possesion in the second half OP`s could not break through a resolute Tavistock defence. Tavistock came back into the game in the second half and OP`s were starting to make mistakes and put pressure on themselves.
Chris Poplar making his club debut was voted man of the match. Score: OPM A 3-0 Tavistock A
OPM Scorers: Russell Owen-Moody (2), Duncan Rutherford
Team: Paul Mingo, Damien Hughes, Ian Ings, D.Rutherford, L.Patterson, P.Honey, I.Loze, G.Logan,C.Poplar,R.Davies,R.Owen-Moody,G.Smith, R.Saunders,J.Horton.
16/10/2004 (A) vs Truro C, South Western District 2
by Ian Johnson
OPMs held out to earn a well-deserved 3 points after controlling the game against Truro. Despite massive pressure and numerous goal mouth scrambles OPMs could only convert their superiority into a single goal courtesy of Pete Honey just before half-time. The Truro stand-in keeper played a blinder but not to be outdone our own Rob maintained concentration right upto the last minute and saved OPMs blushes with a short corner save.
The midfield linked well with Ian Loze (MOM) directing operations, supplying Russ, Pete, Gareth, Luke and Richard all of whom gave the Truro a torrid time going forward. This tended to leave a hole in midfield which Truro tried to exploit but the veteran defence of Arthur, Ian J and Graham (187 years of experience between them!) blunted any threat. Graham had a goal disallowed after the mis-timed thrashings of Ali were spotted by the eagle-eyed umpires. 3 wins out of 3, 9 points. End of story.
Score: Truro C 0-1 OPM A
OPM Scorer: Pete Honey
Team: Rob, Arthur, Ian J, Graham, Ian Loze (MoM), Pete, Richard, Gareth, Luke, Russ, Alistair
23/10/2004 (H) vs USHC Plymouth A, South Western District 2
by Ian Johnson
With a United Services team equal on 9 points and a slippery rain-soaked Lipson, this was always going to be a hard game. Lozey was promoted to the 1st team and was replaced by that eager beaver Charlie Irish with Duncan returning to add metal in midfield. And yes! Was that Ian Ings in goal?-lucky for us it was…..
Once we had dragged Arthur from the warmth of his car the OPMs dominated the 1st quarter in the rain but soon USHC showed their intent with some menacing breaks and a series of short corners one of which was deflected by young Ings onto the post and away. The defence held firm with Arthur solid as a brick and Ian and Ali supporting well. A short passing move was expertly finished off by Gareth who showed a nice mark of respect for Christopher Reeves with his Superman celebration (perhaps a wheelchair next time?). 1-0 at half-time.
The midfield was always strong and gave as good as they got. Indeed, Duncan was involved in a 50:50,? 70:30? (depending on which end of the tackle you were on) challenge which put their key midfielder on the sideline. For the 2nd week Nurse Norfolk was required to patch up an injured player with only a Quality Street wrapper and some dental floss! First Aid Kit anybody?
Luke said he played quite well and worked hard on the right. The well-organised defence became increasingly troubled as OPMs gave away possession and got caught on the break. Ali had to use his best shoulder leaning technique to ease a rampaging forward off the ball. USHC only looked like scoring from shorts and OPMs tried their best to help them with unnecessary offences (substituting during a short…!!!...I ask you). Luckily Ian Ings was massive in goal and made numerous stunning saves.
Frustration set in and tempers began to fray. Duncan (again!) mistimed a knee cracking tackle and as USHC pushed forward OPMs could have sealed it with Russ, Charlie and the midfield linking well. We were glad to hear the final whistle.
MOM was tied between Arthur and Ings but was donated by the selfless Norfolk to the keeper as he couldn’t fit the trophy in his nurse’s uniform. What a pro! Just lose the smell of TCP before the next match please Arthur.
Score: OPM A 1-0 USHC Plymouth A
OPM Scorer: Gareth Logan
Team: Ian I (MoM), Ian J, Arthur, Alistair, Charlie I, Duncan, Pete, Rob, Damian, Russ, Luke, Gareth
06/11/2004 (H) vs Marjons of Plymouth D, South Western District 2
by Ian Johnson
This was set to be a top of the table clash which would test OPMs fitness and resolve. As it happened they were well up to the task and even managed to include some stunning dance movements and lovely yellow umpire costumes modelled by the curvaceous Graham and Rob, that made the game look more like ‘Strictly Crap Dancing’ than a hockey match.
With the welcome return of the Mingo back in goal and the senior Horton at right back the OPM back line looked solid but could the midfield create without Lozey and Charlie I? From the start OPMs harried and fought to break up the waves of Marjon pressure and then counter on the break and were rewarded when Richard converted a chance. Some undisciplined challenges by Ian J led to a series of shorts one of which was elegantly dealt with by Alisdair(not 1 but 3 challenges!) and whose bloody knees were a tribute to his true grit. Still the defence held out and Ian had time to practise a swan-like dive assisted by his lovely partner playing for Marjons at centre forward. Kisses were exchanged at half-time. Just before half-time Ian J thumped in a half volley to make it 2-0.
The 2nd half was more of the same with the OPM’s backline giving a master class in plucky resilience. But as Marjons pressed forward there was more space than Captain Kirk would know what to do with and the midfield put together some sleek passing moves one of which resulted in Rob Saunders’ tantalising slow finish and celebrating with a technically difficult one knee punch and slide. Pete Honey and Gareth dropped deeper and frustrated the opposing midfield effectively while Richard, Russ and Luke always looked dangerous. Indeed, OPMs could have added several more goals and maybe should have had a flick before Russ turned with a silky twisting movement to bury a 4th. This was an immediate response to a reverse stick short corner goal by Marjons.
With this 3 goal cushion OPMs could focus on their ballroom team sequences with the midfield rushing towards each other every time one of them got the ball. Not to be outdone Ian J tried out a little Irish number from ‘Lord of The Dance’ on the head of his partner- the Marjon centre forward- to the tune of ‘There’s something wrong with you…..you F……. C…!’ Ali was keen to bring on the junior section by taking out the same 12 year old 3 times while Damian was swinging both ways on the left hand side!!
All in all a most satisfying result with clinical finishing, experience and dogged determination being the winner at the expense of good hockey. Luke said “It wasn’t as good as it could have been” but it leaves OPMs (worryingly) top of the league. Arthur was again outstanding but lost out to Johnners for MOM as someone voted for Albert? by mistake.
Thanks go to Graham for umpiring at short notice and to the suppliers of the skin tight lycra costumes with OPM badges on the crotch.
Score: OPM A 4-1 MoP D
OPM Scorers: Russell Owen-Moody, Rob Saunders, Richard Davies, Ian Johnson
Team: Paul M, John H, Arthur, Alisdair, Ian J (MoM), Pete H, Gareth L, Luke P, Rob S, Richard D, Damien, Russ
13/11/2004 (A) vs PGSOB D, South Western District 2
by Ian Johnson
OPMs cruised to a resounding 11-1 win on a crisp dry Saturday and maintained their 3 point lead at the top with a much improved goal difference having conceded only 4 goals so far.
The team manfully coped without The Hit Man Ali and the nimble youngster speedster Luke. Chris Poplar returned after injury and James Goodship engineered his way into the midfield. Play was one-sided from the start with OPMs proving too strong for their junior opponents. Goals soon followed although at 2-1 PGs had a brief spell of pressure when OPMs failed to clear their lines. Rob Cross was a rock and he and Chris had a field day as they shredded the defence repeatedly with Russ and Pete looking to get on the end of everything. Russ got a hat-trick and Pete robbed a goal off the stick of the surprised Gareth. Even Arthur was on target from short corners converting 2. Additional goals were supplied by Richard, Rob C, Rob S and Gareth.
The Mingo had little to do but did manage to prevent a goal by hiding the ball in the nape of his neck. John Horton looked cold during long periods of inactivity but never complained. What a pro! Similarly, Rob Logan saw little action but waved a yellow at the PGs number 9 who felled Rich. And then the ferry, the Pont Aven, left which caused quite a stir!
Other highlights included Damien’s MOM 2nd half performance, Arthur hitting his own feet instead of the ball, James’ solid debut and the control Chris showed by stopping the ball with his man-berries. Ouch!
The food in the Artillery was voted the best (and hottest) so far this season and Rob C lost out to Damian for MOM as he was far too sweaty at times. Such is the fine line between success and failure. Unlucky Rob!
Score: PGSOB D 1-11 OPM A
OPM Scorers: Russ (3), Richard (2), Arthur (2), Gareth, Pete, Rob C, Rob S
Team: Paul M, Arthur, John H, Ian J, Gareth L, James G, Russ, Rob S, Rob C, Chris P, Richard, Damian (MoM), Pete
20/11/2004 (H) vs Bodmin A, South Western District 2
by Ian Johnson
OPMs ground out a hard fought win to maintain their unbeaten run and show real dogged determination to overhaul a Bodmin side that had the lead for most of the game.
Missing was the Mean but Moody and young Gareth who was in hospital suffering from self-inflicted wounds after trying to lie on a bed of upturned bookies biros (small but very pointy) to impress work colleagues. Returning came Ian Ings, Ali and Cool hand Luke and the Greenkeeper, Gary Tuckett, which meant a hefty squad but with no recognised front man. This nearly proved costly as OPMs couldn’t convert crosses and padded deflections from defenders and the competent Bodmin keeper.
Bodmin’s tactics were simple-play it around in midfield and then put a ball in behind. Our defence coped well despite several substitutions and the engine room of Johnson and Poplar covered the ground to restrict the opposition. Chris was also a powerhouse going forward and well deserved his MOM and a clean struck goal to seal the victory. Bodmin’s defence was equally solid but persistence, like the rain, told and OPMs were able to bish,bosh,bash an equaliser in the 2nd half through Pete Honey after many similar chances had been scrambled away previously.
Bodmin had enjoyed the lead from an early stage when a pushed short corner found the space between both Johnson’s and Mingo’s legs (usually as tight as a gnat’s chuff!) but soon the Mingo had earned his match fee with some lightning reaction saves even from his own players! Central defenders Arthur and Gary often found themselves at centre forward in the quest for a score but sense prevailed in the astute substitution when Pete came on. Half-time came and still 0-1 down. John Horton gave us a coded message when he had “..to take his dog for a trot” which we all knew meant that with his prostrate he was going to try and squeeze one out.
The second half saw wave after wave of OPM attack interrupted by Bodmin breakaways all at a frenetic pace. Indeed, with the juices flowing, some players lost not only their heads but also their feet and their dignity. Faced with defending a 1 on 1 Ings threw himself arseward and exposed more of himself than was needed. This writer can confirm Ian Ings does have dimples but not on the sole of his astro-trainers! Graham remarked that Ian, wearing the number 6 shirt, spent so much time floundering on the floor that he thought he was wearing number 9! Not to be outdone, Arthur was guilty of thrashing the turf with his stick and shouting “For f____’s sake when I say left, I mean left, right? If you don’t know left from right then go back to school!” Harsh but fair. Perhaps all players should follow Rob Saunders’ example and wear different coloured socks to remind them?
With time marching on victory seemed to be as elusive as the goal. The Ian Johnson to Rob Cross move, Richard’s driving runs, Ian Ings falling over….nothing was paying dividends. It was left to the cool head of Gary to suggest an old favourite – roll it into the D and whack it. Gary assist, Chris’s strike. Goal! With only minutes left Gary took the ball into the corner and wasted valuable seconds…..and then OPMs ran and retrieved the ball for the opposition!!!
This was Rich’s last game as he is off to Sandy Bay to make new mates. He’s already met one called Harry who he’s trying to persuade to come and play. If not play, perhaps he could just get the chips from Somerfield on the way back. There was a particularly attractive offer of buy one get one free for 99p on 907g bags but they had run out. I bet they could find a spare couple of bags under the counter for royalty though. Hope to see you soon, Richard.
12 back to the clubhouse was good to see and is evidence of the team bonding and commitment to each other epitomised in young Rhys Logan’s comment when told to drink up to go and visit his invalid brother: “Do we have to, we’ll miss the football?”
Score: OPM A 2-1 Bodmin A
OPM Scorers: Pete Honey, Chris Poplar
Team: Mingo, Ali, John H, Arthur, Pete, Luke, Richard, Ian J, Ian I, Chris P (MoM), Rob C, Rob S, Damian, Gary T
04/12/2004 (A) vs Ashmoor A, South Western District 2
by Ian Johnson
OPMs ground out another victory against a sprightly Ashmoor team to remain top and still unbeaten. Missing was The Mingo, Nurse Norfolk (on a course about the use of leeches for sporting injuries!), Chris P and Rob Cross but even with Johnson and Gareth returning the midfield looked a little unfamiliar. Even Gary’s knob made an appearance on 2 occasions!
The return of the Gareth was timely as he coped with the bouncy rubber surface better than most. As Graham remarked, you can have a break but hockey skills come back just like vomit! Logan is now fully restored after having his tattoo of Russ Abbott surgically removed although he still winces when he hears ‘Atmosphere’ but then, surely, we all do. Indeed, it was Gareth who finished off a slick passing move against the run of play to make it 1-1 after Ashmoor started the brighter and took an early lead. OPMs continued to soak up pressure but the back line of John, Ali and Ian I were solid and when the midfield managed to pass the ball and use the width we looked dangerous. A strong cross into the ‘D, a miss-kick by the keeper and Ian J was there to ‘knob’ the ball in from 4 inches. Thanks Gary and size isn’t everything….2-1. Within minutes, however, Ashmoor had equalised from a rebounded kick by James who played well between the sticks.
The 2nd half was dominated by Ashmoor with OPMs pinned back making a rear guard defence with backs against the wall and all their creative juices soaked up by the vagaries of the rubberized pitch (thanks Graham). The only bonus was that it meant Johnson could dive which he seemed to do full length, in desperation at any advancing forward. It looked as if OPMs might wilt under the onslaught but inspiration was at hand in the form of John Horton’s breathtaking goal line clearance and the passion and brilliance of Russ. Not since Agincourt and the Falklands war have we seen such commitment. The man was a trooper! If not back helping the defence, he was driving everyone forward and then…..oh yes…a long ball forward….a touch around the defender….he cuts inside…. and O-M unleashes a reverse stick strike that clatters the backboard. 2-3 but could they hold out? There was a time when The 2nds might have rolled over and died but not any more. Damian and Rob S on the left, Luke and Pete all ran their little socks off and frustrated the opposition.
Of course, it could have been so different if ‘Miss Rob Saunders’ had converted his 1 on 1/open goal? If ever Gary’s knob was needed it was then but Rob had other plans and gave the net a rest! Tempers were becoming frayed, stick tackles everywhere and mild panic set in as OPMs failed to clear their lines. Ian Ings’ resorted to the Barnes Wallis approach as his bobbly balls bounced over stick after stick. He also caused mayhem at the back with his calls of ‘Leave’ to John when a 3ft Ashmoor 10 year old was parked in John’s back pocket! And when Damian received a nasty knock to the ankle Ian showed his uncaring side “Don’t say ‘ouch’ get your stick on the floor!” The frustration was spreading to the opposition:
Ali: (To Luke) Stay out wide!
Ashmoor winger: Shut-up! That’s what my captain keeps telling me.
Ali: But I’m not talking to you-you’re on the other team!
With minutes to go OPMs withstood a series of short corners to secure victory….or was it? Ali, our esteemed, captain tried to convince everyone that we had only drawn having forgotten this writer’s crucial ‘knob-in’ before half-time. OPMs go into the festive break on a high. Happy Easter everyone and apologies for the unhealthy obsession about Gary’s todger.
Match Conundrum: Gareth started playing hockey at the age of 4, so after 14 years why is he still crap?
Score: Asmoor A 2-3 OPM A
OPM Scorers: Gareth Logan, Ian Johnson, Russell Owen-Moody
Team: James G, Ali, John H, Ian I, Pete, Luke, Gareth, Ian J (MoM), Rob S, Damian, Russ
22/01/2005 (H) vs Truro C, South Western District 2
by Iain Ings
On a wet and miserable day, two teams took to the hockey field intent on playing a fast and furious, yet measured and skilful game of hockey. At least that will have happened somewhere in the world, though not at Lipson Community College, where a few middle aged men and a crop of boys (some of which aren’t even shaving yet) got very wet. Yes it meant that the mighty OPM 2nds where at it again. But to be fair to those who entered the fray, they did try to impose a certain level of skill to the game (Luke was very consistent with giving the opponent the ball each time he tried to pass them) and with slippery when wet sticks, a playing surface that was built more for Torville & Dean than burly hockey jocks, the spectacle that could have been, never was. It was definitely a day for grinding out a result and that is what the OPM’s did. In fact they showed the grit and determination normally found only in a gaggle of elderly ladies fighting over the last pair of support stockings in the charity shops half price support stockings sale!
Taking advantage of the fact that Truro started with only 10 men/ boys, they pressured the visitors from the start and ensured that the ball spent most of the time in Truro’s half of the pitch. When the ball did end work its way into the OPM’s half, it was easily dealt with by the stalwarts of the first half, Graham Stephens, Iain Ings & John Horton. In fact it must be noted, that there was even some swift passing across the field between the above mentioned players, that looked very impressive and they didn’t give the ball away (see 2nd half!). When the defensive lines where breached, Paul Mingo pulled of an amazing save, that was a combination of stopping the ball with his right arm, then loosing sight of it in the air and finally deciding to throw himself sideways & backwards over the by-line knowing that the ball was there somewhere (so was a wisplike Truro attacker who in the face of this diving madman beat a hasty retreat). That was about the sum of the first half, except of course for Gareth ‘I am the 2nd 11’s C.Vincent – a natural goal machine’ Logan who again in his own words, ‘majestically nutmegged’ the Truro ‘keeper to make it 1-0. Although when viewed from defence it sparked Graham to say, ‘oh god he should have taken it first time…ah good it’s in’. Thus the first half finished 1-0 to OPM’s.
The 2nd half started with sweeping changes. The defence was broken up, with Graham taking up the whistle and Arthur sprinting into the centre of defence, whilst Iain I crawled off in search of pure oxygen. So the new look back line was John H at right back, Arthur at centre back (midfield, centre forward) and Ali dropping from inside left to left back ( something he forgot late on in the game, when 3-2 up he was caught out by a swift Truro attack, standing on the half way line!). And what a difference these changes made! OPM’s decided that they did not want the ball so much this half and kept giving it away. Truro very quickly got an equaliser as panic began to set in. After what had been a measured approach in the first half, became a melee with most of the OPM’s team in the Truro half, when Truro and more importantly the ball where in the OPM’s half! The Truro got their 2nd. This came about by Arthur taking a 16yrd hit out on the left & passing it to John H on the right. Unfortunately there where a couple of Truro forwards in between. 1-2 – doh!”
Then with 10mins to go, Iain I came back into the fray. No sooner that he had set foot onto the pitch OPM’s got two quick goals, from Pete Honey & James Goodship to steal the victory from the jaws of defeat. But it does raise the question, is Iain some sort of talisman. On the pitch we score goals, off the pitch we concede them, however, I must admit that I did not have anything what so ever to do in the build up to the two goals. I must emit an aura of something or another! One comment of note from the 2nd half came from ‘The Goal Machine’ himself, when spotted with his hands down his shorts rubbing very vigorously, said, ‘don’t worry its for medicinal purposes’!
I was also asked to include a comment from Pete & ‘The goal machine’ who believe that they are hot on the heels of Russell, in the race to achieve the holy grail of team ‘Top Gun’ for the season. Dream on lads!
Score: OPM A 3-2 Truro C
OPM Scorers: Gareth Logan, Pete Honey, James Goodship
Team: Mingo, Ali, John H, Arthur, Graham, Chris Patterson, Rob C, Chris Poplar, Iain I, James G (MoM), Pete H, John F, Gareth L
12/02/2005 (A) vs Marjons D, South Western District 2
by Ian Johnson
OPMs lost out to a lively Marjon side, despite some returning faces, and in doing so waved goodbye to any chance of top spot and made promotion unlikely.
A large squad of 14 turned up on a cold Saturday but there were several who were carrying injuries. Arthur Norfolk manly limped forth from his hospital bed where he was being treated for complications from anal bleaching! A mystery player had had a black hat forcibly stapled to his head rendering him unrecognisable and Ian Johnson had a virus which not even a dose of Abbot Ale the night before could shift. Making his debut was the younger, better-looking and much less sweaty Cross brother, Richard, the promising John Richardson and the returning royal-hanger-on Major Davies whose 5 weeks of intensive Pimms and truffles had taken its toll. I wonder when they are going to teach shaving-probably in the rigorous Personal Hygiene module undertaken in the strictest of conditions at Champeneys. Give ‘Bubbles’ one for the club, Richard, in the name of queen and country.
Anyway, back to the game! For the first 10 minutes it was a siege with Marjons storming forward and OPMs doing their best to give the ball back to them at every opportunity. Inevitably, a goal came which the home side deserved but then, from a slick passing move, the Major converted with a diving reverse stick squeeze. And ,slowly but surely, OPMs began to claw their way back into the game.
The second half was disappointing with little passing going on and Marjons looking more confident as time went on. Two goals later it was all over and OPMs could only resort to long hopeful balls which were easily cut out. OPMs’ frustration started to show with Rob Cross perfecting his stick tackle and Pete Honey limping off with torn medial and lateral ligaments or maybe it was a broken toe nail? The away side had one or two chances the best falling to the energetic Chris Poplar who flicked wide. Indeed, the margin of defeat could have been greater but for the sensational diving saves of the Mingo and the ‘behind-the-goal-line’ clearance by Graham.
So much for the game: Luke said he was disappointed with the result even though he was working in a toy shop in Cheltenham at the time. He still had one of his better games, though. Highlights included Rob Saunders’ random shouting runs similar to those strikers in the under-rated FIFA 98 game who charge across the pitch when you want them to make a tackle instead. Richard Cross did well despite living in London. And Rob Logan so upset a player after a gratuitous bout of swearing that the f_ _ _ _ _ _ t_ _ _walked off in a strop and the resulting yellow card was given to the bemused captain of Marjons in lieu. Quality! Score: Marjons D 3-1 O.P.M. A
OPM Scorers: Richard Davies
Team: Mingo, James G, Ali, Graham, John R, Chris P, Pete, Arthur, Hatman, Ian J, Rob S, Richard Cross, Rob C, Richard D (MoM)
Gareth Conundrum: anagrams of Gareth’s name: Goal ‘n’ great, Throg glean and Anglo threag
26/02/2005 (A) vs Bodmin A, South Western District 2
by Ian Johnson
First of all may I apologise for the unnecessary references to the cosmetic surgery of an upstanding stalwart of the club who, since the exposure of his treatment, has attended neither training nor played a match. This writer understands he has overstepped the mark and to avoid further embarrassment will certainly not dwell on the member reduction treatment currently being undergone and will return all monies paid to see the slideshow of this procedure at the 2nds night out.
The match resulted in a hard fought win for promotion contenders OPMs who seemed to have regained some spunk and could see 2nd place in the league beckoning. With Arthur and John H missing, the reliable James Goodshipmansworth stepped in at centre back and a squad of 13 made the trip with Damian returning. Russ selfishly put some pathetic wedding excuse before hockey!
The first 5 minutes were a tribute to the vow of silence taken by both teams and this writer felt positively guilty when he called out loud for a pass. Soon, however, OPMs were on the march and starting to string some swift moves resulting in a Pete Honey goal. More breaks followed with the lively Luke getting those crosses over with power and venom. He was obviously sparked into action by his visit to that Tropical fish shop just opposite Safeway which does a mean line in Guppies, Tetra Min and loaches (Buy 1, get a catfish free!). May the algae be with you….. Bodmin responded but Graham, James, Ian J, Ali and John worked tirelessly to breakdown attacks and Mingo throughout the game made some vital saves.
The 2nd half saw Bodmin change formation and become much more menacing but the team continued to put some passes together with the youngster, Frosty, and John showing considerable potential. Chances came and were spurned notably from the immense Chris Poplar and the miniscule Gareth but quality prevailed and the Welsh bookie converted to make it 0-2. Game over or was it…? No visit to Cornwall is a given and with 10 minutes to go Bodmin knicked one back and piled on the pressure. OPMs flew into panic mode and began tackling themselves and even scaring each other (come on John, Gareth’s a bit sensitive, you know) but Mingo, Ali and James Shipsgoodworthman had different ideas.
Mingo could have been excused a lapse of concentration as he planned his bulk order of Kiwi and Mango Rib Tickler condoms for his forthcoming wedding, but he still pulled off a series of saves. Not to be outdone James Goodmanworthships made an outrageous Superman stop on the line with his foot and even avoided being carded for the obviously outrageously outstretched lunge. The power of Kriptonite…. Even Ali joined in by just falling over and taking a short corner on the toe. Massive! OPMs held on and Rob S was emotionally and physically drained after running the left line like a trooper always making himself available.
But the nightmare continued after the game as the escaping blue gloop from the showers menacingly made its hellish way along the grout of the tiles like a scene from that minor horror classic ‘Final Destination’ towards…..Watch out Chris…its snaking its way towards your trainers…Worse still Graham dropped his hot sausage on the forearm of the waitress in the pub leaving a nasty stain and suggested we attend the Bodmin Easter Festival but only after a full team waxing so we could play in the mixed tournament…! In fact, Graham’s whole sexuality is up for debate as he wanted to ‘stay a woman’ for the mixed event! Johnners contributed to the debacle by suggesting Graham’s wardrobe would include a 3 piece suite! That’s a jacket and two leather sofas, interest free till April 2006……
It was definitely time to leave with Damian moaning ‘Just let it stop…’. The season reaches its climax! Score: Bodmin A 1-2 O.P.M. A
OPM Scorers: Pete Honey, Gareth Logan
MoM: Paul Mingo
Match Conundrum: What is the conserve that rhymes with bunny, is the surname of a legendary 2nd team player and is the name of the street in Bodmin in which the pub The Weavers resides.